A Promise

It was yesterday, when I thought of keeping a promise to my son, the youngest of my kids. He is my little buddy, so thoughtful and encouraging, who virtually pulled me out …to life ..after I had a near-death experience , sometimes ago.

It took years to sink down to the bottom , owing to everything destined in our lives, but just a few months to rise again, though not completely to the surface…only because his little hands pulled me out of my grave , desperately  waited to engulf me like a slime mold.

 While others gave up…he whispered…” You’ll live Mommy…!”

It came out from the bottom of his heart and my heart heard it….which had decided upon not listening to anything…but itself…palpitating, trembling, screaming…bleeding…so vigorously.  I could feel the life chocked inside my throat like a bolus which blocks all the peristaltic waves…

I felt as if the beating would escape the wires behind it and will jump out of the Electrocardiogram’s screen…dancing hysterically ..with P, Q, R, S nodes….acting like the crazy notes of disaccorded  orchestra

“How are you feeling now?” I heard the doctor calling my name.
“ like Nothing..” ..I managed to utter..
“like I’m dying…” I added calmly

I felt his hands touched my knees as I smiled in concern..and left the Emergancy room..

….

My  Son smiled at my unexpected decision , …a lot….as he always avoid to laugh aloud due to a natural grace  and divinity he holds with in his God-Given personality..( He resembles his father…not me..J

He always wanted to take me to a long long ‘bike-ride’, which I always had avoided because of my fear of ‘emergency’..

So we packed some snack …took our bikes…and…set out…

We crossed the greenery of the Don Valley, once full of lively waters of the Don River before it changed its direction…climbed down the heavy staircase of the bridge over-head and reached the bike track running along the Don River in its new direction.

The River was  shallow and some Salmons were visibly enjoying and basking  the early sunrays, under the surface of cloudy water…Morning fragrances was swirling around the trunks of trees, teasing them like the naughty butterflies whispering the wake-up calls…Small bushes were fencing the running water of the river like a group of shy, decorated girls of the Valleys of  Northern Pakistan, singing and dancing  merrily and gracefully….quite unaware of their natural beauty..

The River was quiet, but it was telling a thousand tales , sunken deep down the bottom…touching earth , beneath…yet invisible and vanished…like the ripples of unknown pebbles, resting silently like the gravestones of anonymous deads.

Along the River we saw a few young and older couples whispering in the trust of their privacy. We saw some solitary sleeping indifferently with their hats covering their eyes…unaware of what’s happening around them. (I just feared they might fall into the river..in their slumber though…!) We  really envied the  ducks and birds enjoying their unique freedom of their worry-less lives.

….
The Track seemed never -ending…arousing the  innocent curiosity of my son to reach the end…

He was in pure mood to explore more ..his mode in the 7th. Gear of his heavenly drives….leading me far ahead of the realm of my true self…

“Follow me….” He sounded literarily
“I …I …Sir”…I replied…just like a blind disciple of a godly saint…

“We’ll stay side by side..otherwise..stay behind me..” (Aha) He finally ordered like a general who had lost his army and try to rule the ordinary…

“ Stay at the right side”…I tried to add something of mine under his leadership..
“ Mommy..You know I’m always ‘right’ “ He added pun to the conversation which was bumpy like the track we were traveling.
“And I’m always at left and …and Im always am wrong”: I confessed…and he smiled (a lot…again)

…..

It was a perfect day and the perfect time …as the track was not crowded…as I always am scared of the crowd…yet we met many different people along the way. All were completely different as Canada is the truest example of diversity and diversity is believed to be Divine…

So precisely all were humans with their hearts ..beating normal and natural rhythms…per minutes…on the normal tracks …and they were enjoying a good Cardio-Work-Out…through their expeditions ..

Some smiled , some whitsled..some ignored…Some were slow, some fast…some alone …some with their family members…well a few with their kids too…

They all were very well-dressed and well equipped…while we both appeared quite  strangers to the ‘tracks’..with our casual out-look and …and lost sense of direction…

Had that been a night tracking…then we might had been following the North Star…to direct us to our promised land…but….it was a day…a bright day without any signs of the night …or…stars…anymore..

So we asked a fellow tracker to let us know where we were going..precisely…He stopped by…gave us a huge smile at first…and told us that we were heading towards a real end…lake Ontario….My son was amazed and the twinkles of his bright eyes were expecting me to listen to his silent wishes…..obviously to reach the end…

I refused firmly…as I regained myself ..and my leadership..virtually ‘kid-napped’..by a kid.
.NO..we won’t ..it will exhaust us and  will spoil all the fun…on its way…I said
Okay then well-reach at something very interesting and then we’ll have a back gear…he suggested..
…

We reached the Station of GO trains…We had never seen so many GO trains, going nowhere…at all..
While he was completely taken by the feel of  huge stationary objects ..I was pondering over the fact ..isn’t it all ..that this life is about….going.. no-where…absolutely…we are stuck….or we don’t want to go anywhere at all…

On the way back..we passed a woman strolling with her dog…My son was far ahead…than me as I was completely exhausted…We stopped by the bridge again we had to climb up again…to reach back with our heavy bikes..it seemed too hectic at that time…with all the strength lost already…

We heard the woman saying..“I already knew this must be your son…as he was  so courteous as he passed  me and my dog“…A lovely compliment from a complete stranger boosted us and we managed to climb..about 60 stairs on a go….

….Finally we both ended up in the same green valley offering a spacious hug with all its heart ..

While my son was eating his snack …I lay down on the grass under the sky…without paying attention to any obnoxious gaze….sank my self in the lap of  Earth…caressing  motherly with the thousand green projections…underneath,…while the sky’s blue sheet …with floating clouds …covered my whole being…
It was so peaceful…I felt no thirst …no hunger…no pain….neither any joy…it was jus t perfect…to feel as if I was dead…or dying….
As the gray clouds were gathering more rain drops I felt the souls of the dear ones ..out there…calling me…to join them…I closed my eyes….I was being sucked up…by  the atmosphere…of eternal peace….of death…

While I was sinking…down and down….it started drizzling ….

“You will live…Mommy”..

I heard a whisper..from no where…

I opened my eyes…and assured the voice..

“ I will….”
“ I will…”
“ I promise….”



SW



Dedicated to my son